deaRly beloveD

dearly beloved,

this is what i do in my spare time in the office, well, okay, it's not really a spare time. my brain is just simply frozen and i just need to escape for a while. for a onepost time. that's it.
been thinking about cooking lately. it's not that i'm a great chef or anything. i can cook great in a small amount, i know what i should put in such a smaller scale. however i have a really bad judgement when it comes to a larger scale. everything becomes to tasteless, or on worse days, it tastes become to strong, too salty, too sour, to strong!

ok, i think i had this small desire of cooking when i was younger, around maybe twenty years ago that is. not helping mom in the kitchen obviously, but i have this special passion about bread, baking, desserts and such other european style dishes.
but of course, having a little too crowded kitchen, i'd prefer to stay out of the area and let mom or dad deal with it.
especially after they cook something spicy and smelly, like seafood and other eastern spices and herbs. i'd stay away as far as i can.

i remember making a routine jelly agar agar for desert and then continues to make a caramel flan pudding for my family for quite some time. but i remembered the last time i made it, it caused a deep rivalry in the family. so i guess that's why i stopped. and of course to save up and not spending moneys on these seems so trivial stuff.

and don't forget to mention the effort of cooking or baking or those sorta things. you have to have the right equipment, the right energy and of course to clean up after.

in my journey to get back on my cooking track, i found this so critical talented 'chef' who critics me on every cut of meat i made, every slice of vegies i had, the thickness and thiness of certain ingrendients that frustrates me so badly that again bring me to a big quarrel in front of multitudes of staring eyes. there. i had enough. no more cooking. at all.

living on your mature live without cooking is really a tragedy. you missed out a lot of saving, creativity and savoury in action. it comes to a point, i'd like to experiment again, with my lovely petite girlfriends this time, whose eating like a lady and enjoys food delicacy, or at least i tried to make them delicate without complains.

but the joy of cooking that grasp me to this point is really this simple truth, that i realised lately by watching Julia Child's story, written by Julie Powell, she only want to serve the best food for her dear husband.

the same with me here. i only desire to serve the best for my husband. whether it taste good or bad, whether it has humonguous cut or slightly unpresented, he deserves the best.
this make me thinking. really, there is a joy in cooking! when it fails when in succeed, when your loved ones's tastebuds are triggered, hope many more will enjoy my cooking.

only european style, that is.
bon appetit! ^^